My friend just tested positive for HIV: What can I do to support them?

If your friend tests positive for HIV, how you treat them can have a big impact on their wellbeing. Read on for advice on what you can do to support someone in this situation. 

The difference your support can make 

Sadly, HIV stigma still exists. Many people who test positive for HIV feel ashamed and worry about being judged. They might feel scared for their health and future too.

If someone trusts you enough to share their status with you, take it as a compliment. What they need in return is your understanding and support. Being there for them can help them deal with how they feel and find ways to manage their physical health too.

How to offer support

Be there to support and listen

Let them know their HIV status does not change how you see them, and they can trust you to keep things private. 

Offer them emotional support by listening to how they feel. You could also share these tips on looking after your mental health. Be encouraging about their future. Many people with HIV are in relationships and have children, and there is no need for HIV to stop them achieving what they want in life.

Check in with them regularly. Some days they may feel like having contact with you, other days they might not. The main thing is to keep the contact going.

Ask if there’s anything they’d like to talk about. This can help them  open up, and it can help you better understand what they need.

Don’t pressure them to talk. Just doing things together might be the boost they need. 

Learn and share

Learn about HIV. The more you know, the more you can support them (our living with HIV section is a good place to start). 

Share the facts about HIV with them. Let them know that people with HIV can live long and healthy lives if they are on effective treatment. And if they achieve an undetectable viral load they cannot pass HIV on through sex. 

Supporting someone on HIV treatment

One of the best things someone with HIV can do to look after their health is to take antiretroviral treatment (ART). But starting and sticking to treatment is not always easy and support from friends and family is often vital for success.

If your friend is not on treatment, or not taking it regularly, you can offer practical support to encourage them. For example, you could offer to go with them to the clinic or to remind them to take their pills. If you study together, you could take notes for them if they need to miss class or surprise them with a treat as a well-done for going to the clinic. 

You can find out more about taking HIV treatment correctly on our adherence and adherence for young people pages.

Access more support

It might help your friend to connect with an HIV organisation, counsellor or support group. Don’t pressure them but find out what is available and let them know. You could even offer to go with them at first. You could also research helplines and online forums if they do not want to meet people in person. 

However you support your friend, be proud. Not everyone shows up for others in this way. And what you are doing is going to make a difference to someone you care about.

Have you ever supported someone recently diagnosed with HIV? Do you have any tips or advice you want to share? What helped them most and what was most challenging? Why not let us know. You can find us on Facebook, Instagram, X or email us on info@beintheknow.org.